Monday, June 30, 2008

Actual Headlines

Caribbean Islands Drift to Left

- March Planned For Next August

- Blind Bishop Appointed To See

- Lingerie Shipment Hijacked -- Thief Gives Police The Slip

- L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide

- Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through

- Latin Course To Be Canceled--No Interest Among Students, Et Al.

- Diaper Market Bottoms Out

- Croupiers On Strike; Management Says: "No Big Deal"

- Stadium Air Conditioning Fails -- Fans Protest

- Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

- Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters

- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

- Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice

- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

- Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin

- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

- Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man

- Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy

- 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar

- War Dims Hope For Peace

- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

- Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation

- Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years

- Man is Fatally Slain

- Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of Isolation

- Defendants Speech Ends in Long Sentence

- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

- Police Discover Crack in Australia

- Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan

- Collegians are Turning to Vegetables

- Scientists to Have Ford's Ear

- Hershey Bars Protest

- County Officials to Talk Rubbish

- Carter Plans Swell Deficit

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