Tom Swifty’s

Tom Swifty’s

• "3.142," Tom enumerated piously.
• "Give me some more macaroni and cheese, and I'll tell you," said Tom craftily.
• "I need a home run hitter," Tom said ruthlessly.
• "I'll get in through the window after opening it with this crowbar," said Tom enterprisingly.
• "It's only average," said Tom meanly.
• "You can't go faster than the speed of sound," Tom said mockingly.
• "Do you like to be called Timothy or Russell?" Tom asked timorously.

"Are You Homosexual?" Tom Queried Gaily

A

• "I'm wearing my wedding ring," said Tom with abandon.
• "I'm concerned about the number of people not attending," said Tom absentmindedly.
• "Who would want to steal modern art?" asked Tom abstractedly.
• "Now I can chop down that tree," said Tom with a heavy accent.
• "Let's all play an A, a C sharp, and an E," cried Tom's band with one accord.
• "I gave the donkey some vinegar," said Tom acidly.
• "There's room for one more," Tom admitted.
• "They are not answering - we'd better try the knocker," said Tom adoringly.
• "I'll eat till I burst," Tom agreed.
• "Fire!" yelled Tom alarmingly.
• "I'm halfway up a mountain," Tom alleged.
• "There's no need for silence," Tom allowed.
• "It's a unit of electric current," said Tom amply.
• "These are the propulsion systems used by NASA for the moonshots," said Tom apologetically.
• "This is a delicious Golden Delicious," said Tom applaudingly.
• "My investments are worth more every day," said Tom appreciatively.
• "I'll take that," said Tom appropriately.
• "2 bdrm furn w c/h," said Tom aptly.
• "We can't have this and eat it too," said Tom archaically.
• "It's between my sole and my heel," said Tom archly.
• "You have the right to remain silent," said Tom arrestingly.
• "Someday I'll run the CIA" said young Tom aspiringly. (*1)
• "The cheque is in the post," Tom assented.
• "Cobblers!" said Tom at last.
• "I decide which car to purchase after looking at the pictures," said Tom autobiographically.

B       (Top)

• "This boat is leaking," said Tom balefully.
• "Give me a haircut," Tom said barbarously.
• "This is George Bernard Shaw's major work," Tom said barbarously.
• "Wow!" barked Tom, with a bow.
• "Dorothy, if you're going to Oz again, I'm going with you," Em barked.
• "I've been listening to the Brandenberg Concertos," Tom barked.
• "I've been listening to the Tales of Hoffmann," Tom often barked.
• "I'm losing my hair," Tom bawled.
• "I wonder why the hive's still empty," said Tom belatedly.
• "I have to keep this fire alight," Tom bellowed.
• "I wouldn't give that a grade of A," Tom said beratingly. (*2)
• "I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare.
• "" said Tom blankly.
• "Sure I can climb cliffs!" Tom bluffed. (*2)
• "I'm a Soviet agent in England," said Tom bluntly.
• "This wind is awful," blustered Tom.
• "That was a googly," said Tom boldly.
• "Are you all governors?" Tom asked, bored.
• "I still haven't struck oil," said Tom boringly.
• "This is mutiny!" said Tom bountifully.
• "I'm the presenter of the South Bank Show," Melvyn bragged.
• "I fought with Geronimo," said Tom bravely.
• "I presented my case to the judge," Tom said briefly. (*2)
• "Use your own toothbrush!" Tom bristled.
• "Carmen is my favorite opera," said Tom busily.

C       (Top)

• "I'm a great opera singer," said Tom, being callous.
• "Do you play the guitar?," Tom asked callously. (*2)
• "Yes, I have been reading Voltaire," Tom admitted candidly.
• "I've been to a film festival in the South of France," said Tom cannily.
• "There's nothing to stop me putting things in tins," said Tom cannily.
• "It's a bloody lion," said Tom categorically.
• "Would you like some soda in your whiskey?" asked Tom caustically.
• "Admittedly it is important to learn the alphabet," Abie ceded.
• "I love the novels of D. H. Lawrence," said the lady chattily.
• "Another batch of shells for me!" Tom clamored. (*2)
• "We're off to Scotland," said Tom clandestinely. (*2)
• "I was completely exonerated," said Tom clearly.
• "Skool is grate," said Tom comprehensively.
• "Don't add too much water," said Tom with great concentration.
• "The prisoner escaped down a rope," said Tom condescendingly.
• "I organized that big party for the prisoners," Tom confessed.
• "I'm mentioned in this book," said Tom contentedly.
• "Europe needs more self-restraint," said Tom continently.
• "We've taken over the government," the general cooed.
• "I'd like to be a Chinese laborer," said Tom coolly.
• "Those cobs are amazing!" said Tom cornily.
• "We steal things together," Tom corroborated.
• "Why is this telephone flex always tangled?" asked Tom coyly.
• "Give me some pre-packed cheese slices," said Tom craftily.
• "I admire East End gangsters," said Tom crazily.
• "I dropped the toothpaste," signaled Tom, crestfallen.
• "I'm dying," Tom croaked.
• "Your embroidery is terrible," Mary needled, cruelly.
• "The situation is grave," Tom said cryptically.

D       (Top)

• "It's not fair!" said Tom darkly.
• "A Greek woodland deity is no more," Tom said with a deadpan expression.
• "I've had these Beardsley prints for ten years," said Tom decadently.
• "I won't play for this team any longer, " Tom decided.
• "This country will no longer have an official religion," King Tom decreed.
• "It's time to play my wild card," Tom deduced.
• "I prefer unlined gloves," Tom deferred.
• "I can no longer hear anything," said Tom deftly.
• "I didn't do well in the test," Tom said degradedly. (*2)
• "I can no longer see anything," said Tom delightedly.
• When butchers meet, Tom always delivers a speech - but he hams it up, it has been revealed.
• "Have I been emasculated?" Tom demanded.
• "We've just brought gold and frankincense," the Magi demurred.
• "Don't let me drown in Egypt!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.
• "For you I'd even be disenfranchised," said Tom devotedly.
• "My word is final!" Tom dictated to his secretary.
• "I was removed from office," said Tom disappointedly.
• "I want this statue to look like the Venus de Milo," said Tom disarmingly.
• "I like listening to records at night," said Tom disconsolately.
• "Out, out, damned spot!" said Lady Macbeth disdainfully.
• "That certainly took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly.
• "I can't find my reefers!," Tom said disjointedly. (*2)
• "Dat's de end of April," said Tom in dismay.
• "Whenever I put on my scuba gear, I get pins and needles," said Tom divertingly.
• "I'll never give up my hounds!" Tom said doggedly. (*2)
• "Well I'll be an SOB!" Tom said doggedly. (*2)
• "I'm on social security," said Tom dolefully.
• "Can I hail you a taxi?" asked Tom dormantly. (*2)
• "It's made the grass wet," said Tom after due consideration.
• "Here's someone who can't speak!" exclaimed Tom dumbfoundedly.

E       (Top)

• "The radio reception is much better now," said Tom ecstatically.
• "Emily has put on weight," said Tom emphatically.
• "I had no luck at all at the races," Tom endorsed.
• "Let's get married," said Tom engagingly.
• "I get in through the window after opening it with this crowbar," said Tom enterprisingly.
• "Time flies," said Tom entomochronometrically.
• "What a charming doorway!" said Tom, entranced.
• "Eureka!" said Tom to Archimedes. "I think you ought to take a bath.".
• "I wouldn't marry you if you were the only woman on earth," said Tom evenly.
• "I'll tempt Adam tonight," she said evilly. (*2)
• "I've changed my name to Al," said Hal, exasperated.
• "I've lost my gold mine!" Tom exclaimed. (*2)
• "I have no underwear," Tom said expansively.
• "My former wife is cute," said Tom expertly.
• "I used to be a paratrooper," Tom explained.
• "I don't want you delivering my mail any more - it never arrives on time," Tom expostulated.
• "Elvis is dead," said Tom expressly.
• "I used to command a battalion of German ants," said Tom exuberantly.

F       (Top)

• "I'm trying to get some air circulating under the roof," said Tom fanatically.
• "Get the stick, Rover!" Tom called fetchingly. (*2)
• "That's OK!" said Tom finally.
• "This is the Netherlands," Tom stated flatly.
• "This steamroller really works," said Tom flatteringly.
• "I'm falling into a void," said Tom flawlessly.
• "I've joined the navy," Tom said fleetingly.
• "Watch this insect sail through the air," said Tom flippantly.
• "I'm about to hit the golf ball," Tom forewarned.
• "I won't finish in fifth place," Tom held forth.
• "Ignore the first three turnings," said Tom forthrightly.
• "I bought myself fifty hamburgers and I've only ten left," said Tom with fortitude.
• "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
• "Is your name Frank Lee?" Tom asked frankly.
• "We have no bananas," Tom said fruitlessly. (*2)
• "I didn't see that French 'No Smoking' sign," fumed Tom defensively.

G       (Top)

• "Mmmmmm mmmmmmm," Tom gagged.
• "That young insect is female," said Tom gallantly.
• "I'm from a Humberside port," said Tom ghoulishly.
• "This house is in good taste!" said Hansel and Gretel gingerly.
• "Look at those tall flowers," said Tom gladly.
• "I was absolutely vitrified," said Tom with a glazed look.
• "This food tastes of plutonium," said Tom glowingly.
• "For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful," said Tom gracefully.
• "My wife is dead" said Prince Rainier gracelessly.
• "Would anyone like some Parmesan?" asked Tom gratingly.
• "Happy Halloween!" Tom said gravely. (*2)
• "My shins are well protected," Tom grieved.
• "Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess," Tom began grimly.
• "I don't like the sand which is in the sandwiches," said Tom grittily.
• "It's become much bigger," said Tom with a groan.
• "This game is foul," Tom groused.
• "I'm three feet taller than I was yesterday," said Tom gruesomely, up the yard.
• "You must be my host" Tom guessed.
• "I don't have a boyfriend," said Mary guilelessly.
• "It's just gold leaf," said Tom guiltily.
• "I like Germany," was Tom's gut reaction.

H       (Top)

• "I can't march any more!" the soldier called haltingly. (*2)
• "I've still got two fingers left," said Tom handsomely.
• "Oh, stop talking about the Dreyfus case. Don't you like the colour of my eyes?" asked Esther hazily.
• "I only have diamonds, clubs and spades," said Tom heartlessly.
• "I've been to San Francisco" said Tom heartlessly. (*1)
• "Dinna wave that axe aboot, Jimmy!" said Tom heedlessly.
• "It's my maid's night off," said Tom helplessly.
• "I was the first to climb Mount Everest," said Tom hilariously.
• "My extreme emotional instability arises from a psychoneurosis," hissed Eric.
• "Nay!" said Tom hoarsely.
• "I have to keep these eggs warm," Tom chirped honestly.
• "I want to buy that big diamond," Tom said hopefully. (*2)
• "Have a ride in my new ambulance," said Tom hospitably.
• "The doctors had to remove a bone from my arm," said Tom humorlessly.
• "I cut off the bottoms of my levis so they wouldn't drag in the mud," said Tom hygienically.
• "That's an ugly hippopotamus!" said Tom hypocritically.

I       (Top)

• "I see," said Tom icily.
• "This is a sick bird," said Tom illegally.
• "This bird has no beak," said Tom impeccably.
• "I brush my teeth ten times a day," said Tom implacably.
• "That little devil didn't tell the truth," Tom implied.
• "I want you in the navy," said Tom impressively.
• "I'm burning aromatic substances," said Tom, incensed.
• "Happy 4th of July!" said Tom independently. (*2)
• "He's a boring chap," said Tom indulgently.
• "May I become a chorister?" Tom inquired.
• "Don't let me drown in Paris!" pleaded Tom insanely.
• "I'm not leaving the chapel until I finish this painting," said Michelangelo insistently.
• "I've borrowed my sister's camping gear," said Tom insistently.
• "I'm sailing near the Isle of Wight," said Tom insolently.
• "I like camping," said Tom intently.
• "I've mixed up my gloves," Tom said intermittently. (*2)
• "This is my assessment," said Tom irately.
• "It's my personal magnetism," said Tom ironically.

J       (Top)

• "His Honor is crazy," Tom admitted judgementally. (*2)
• "I'd like chicken soup with matzo balls and gefilte fish," said Tom judiciously.

K       (Top)

• "My parents are called Billy and Nanny," Tom kidded.
• "I've run out of wool," said Tom, knitting his brow.
• "I deny everything," said Tom knowingly.

L       (Top)

• "I have no recollection of the last twenty-four hours," said Tom lackadaisically.
• "No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas," said Tom laconically.
• "I refuse to make an agenda," Tom said listlessly. (*2)
• "I never play any music by Hungarian composers," said Tom listlessly.
• "It's where we store the hay," Tom said loftily. (*2)
• "I always pray to St. Ignatius," said Tom loyally.
• "I chop down trees for a living," said Tom lumberingly.

M       (Top)

• "I'm Scottish," said Tom macabrely.
• "I'm just going to put these handcuffs on you," said Tom manically.
• "It's only average," said Tom meanly.
• "According to this sonograph, the average frequency of my voice is 160 Hz," said Tom in measured tones.
• "I've got to fix the automobile," said Tom mechanically.
• "A million thanks, Monsieur," said Tom mercifully.
• "We in the Conservative Party believe in having a good time," said Tom meritoriously.
• "Perhaps I will," said Tom with all his might.
• "It's hard work arresting that girl!" said Tom, laboring under a misapprehension.
• "Do you call this a musical?" asked Les miserably.
• "The girl's been kidnapped," said Tom mistakenly.
• "I'm tired of smiling," moaned Lisa.
• "My stereo's half-fixed," said Tom monotonously. (*2)
• "I want a motorized bicycle," Tom moped.
• "We'll need a higher price at auction," Tom said morbidly. (*2)
• "The sun is rising," Tom mourned.
• "Another work week begins," said Tom mundanely. (*2)
• "Mama is German," Tom muttered.
• "I didn't mean to have my cheek pierced," said Tom mysteriously.

N       (Top)

• Naughtily, Tom said nothing.
• "I haven't developed my photographs yet," said Tom negatively.
• "This decay wasn't there before," said Tom neurotically.
• "That just doesn't add up," said Tom, nonplussed.
• "Can you read music?" the bandleader asked notably. (*2)
• "What's the value of a dollar bill?" asked Tom noteworthily.

O       (Top)

• "What's a wide-angle lens?" asked Tom obtusely.
• "That horse looks like a good bet at 17 to 1," said Tom oddly.
• "Do you buy and sell stolen goods?" asked Tom offensively.
• "My wrists are bleeding stumps!" said Tom offhandedly.
• "I prefer trout to salmon," Tom said officiously.
• "It's half a score," Tom said often.
• "My bicycle wheel is damaged," said Tom outspokenly.
• "I have had too many children," said Mary overbearingly.

P       (Top)

• "I've swallowed some glass," Tom said painfully. (*2)
• "I had an accident in the kitchen," said Tom with panache.
• "I've joined the Airborne Medical Corps," said Tom paradoxically.
• "Ici nous voyons le tour Eiffel!" Tom parried.
• "I've deduced that this is the right way," said Tom pathologically.
• "I'm waiting to see the doctor," said Tom patiently.
• "I wish I had something to write with," Tom said pensively. (*2)
• "I can do an excellent impression of Sinatra," said Tom, being perfectly frank.
• "Has my magazine arrived?" Tom asked periodically.
• "I need to clear my throat," said Tom phlegmatically.
• "3.142" Tom enumerated piously.
• "Who's your favorite operatic tenor?" Tom asked placidly.
• "I've removed all the feathers from this chicken," said Tom pluckily.
• "Where shall I plant these water-lilies?" Tom pondered.
• "I haven't had any tooth decay yet," said Tom precariously.
• "I'm here - with a gift!" said Tom presently.
• "I'm just an ordinary soldier," Tom admitted privately.
• "I teach at a university," Tom professed.
• "I know where Jack Nicklaus is," said Tom profoundly.
• "I'm in favor of mechanization," said the promoter.
• "I've dyed my hair green and stuck a pin through my nose," said Tom punctually.
• "The cat seems happy now it's been fed," said Tom purposefully.

Q       (Top)

• "Are you homosexual?" Tom queried gaily.
• "This is where I keep my arrows," said Tom, quivering.
• "This is the fastest way to get drunk," said Tom quixotically.

R       (Top)

• "Have you ever been whitewater rafting?" Tom asked rapidly. (*2)
• "What are these berries?" Tom rasped.
• "I'm embarrassed," Tom admitted readily.
• "I can see naturally," Tom realized.
• "There it is again!" Tom recited.
• "I've never had an accident," said Tom recklessly.
• """Said Tom recursively," said Tom recursively," said Tom recursively" said Tom recursively.
• "Nice looking glass!" said Tom reflectively.
• "It's time for the second funeral," Tom rehearsed.
• "I've gone back to my wife," was Tom's rejoinder.
• "Superglue!" Tom rejoined.
• "We did it twice last night," she relayed.
• "OK, you can borrow it again," Tom relented.
• "I love hot dogs," said Tom with relish.
• "I've transferred my money back into my German savings account," Tom remarked with interest.
• "I've passed the exam this time," Tom remarked.
• "That is remarkable," remarked Tom.
• "I've paid my annual subscription," Tom remembered.
• "I've gone back to using my maiden name", said Mary remissly.
• "I'd better repeat that SOS message," said Tom remorsefully.
• "My garden needs another layer of mulch," Tom repeated.
• "I'm taking this ship back into harbor," Tom reported.
• "Must I show again why this is true?" asked Tom reprovingly.
• "I mailed it to you again," Tom said resentfully. (*2)
• "I suppose I'll have to write my name again." said Tom resignedly.
• "I'm not a crook," Nixon said resignedly. (*2)
• "It's a piece of laboratory equipment," Tom retorted.
• "My oar is broken," said Tom robustly.
• "Balls!" Tom said roundly.
• "I can't eat any more of this bitter herb," said Tom ruefully.
• "What's the name of that street in Paris?" asked Tom ruefully. (*2)
• "I've an urgent appointment," said Tom in Russian.
• "I need a home run hitter," Tom said ruthlessly. (*2)

S       (Top)

• "This fowl has been stuffed," said Tom sagely.
• "Bring me a large helping of vanilla with chocolate sauce," I screamed.
• "So only one person arrived at the party before I did?" Tom second-guessed.
• "I'll use my stopwatch to see how fast it moves," said Tom, seconding the motion.
• "I won't tell you anything about my salivary glands," said Tom secretively.
• "Would you like to buy an alarm?" asked Tom self-righteously.
• "Would you like to buy some cod?" asked Tom selfishly.
• "You lamb!" said Tom sheepishly.
• "Ought I to do this?" asked Tom with a shudder.
• "I'm going to end it all," Sue sighed.
• "This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn," said Tom slowly.
• "What are you taking pictures of?" Tom snapped.
• "I'll do your conveyancing, but I'll be slow and overcharge you," said Tom solicitously.
• "Rod sure is a spoiled little child," Tom said sparely. (*2)
• "One of the tires just blew out," Tom said sparingly. (*2)
• "This ocean is calm," said the sailors specifically. (*2)
• "The optician probably doesn't have my glasses ready yet," Tom speculated.
• "Save the whales," spouted Tom. (*2)
• "You don't see the point, do you?" asked Tom, making a stab in the dark.
• "Hey, you're standing on my foot!" said Tom standoffishly.
• "What's this black stain round my mouth?" asked Tom succinctly.
• "This tuna is excellent," said Tom superficially.
• "Yes, I have read Gulliver's Travels," said Tom swiftly.

T       (Top)

• "Please don't sneeze with your mouth full, said Tom to the carpet-layer tactfully.
• "I'm simply not a nice girl," she whispered tartly. (*2)
• "I work at a bank," said Tom tellingly.
• "My bid for this contract aims to please," said Tom tenderly.
• "I have no idea," said Tom thoughtlessly.
• "Parsley, sage, rosemary," said Tom timelessly.
• "You shouldn't be writing elegies, young lady," the curfew told Nell.
• "I'm going to fix the roof," Tom translated.
• "I was adopted," said Tom transparently.
• "I punched him in the stomach three times," said Tom triumphantly.

U       (Top)

• "The bank doesn't want me as a customer," said Tom unaccountably.
• "Mmmm, homemade soup," said Tom uncannily. (*2)
• "There's no bathroom in here," Tom said uncannily. (*2)
• "I don't know any shanties," said Tom unceasingly.
• "I'm not sure about Heisenberg," said Tom uncertainly.
• "I flatly deny this," said Tom under pressure.
• "I won't stand for painting," said Tom uneasily.
• "How long will I have to wait for a table?" asked Tom unreservedly.
• "Your trousers have come apart!" was Tom's unseemly comment, which had us all in stitches.
• "I want to date other women," said Tom unsteadily.
• "Henry the Eighth!" said Tom unthinkingly.
• "I'm going to be intestate," said Tom unwillingly.
• "This is a good bra," she said upliftingly. (*2)
• "I just saw a lion fly overhead," Tom said uproariously. (*2)
• "I was given a shampoo and trim by a Pakistani in Liverpool," said Tom in Urdu.

V       (Top)

• "I need an injection," Tom pleaded in vain.
• "So that's the way the wind blows," said Tom vainly.
• "This is a picture of my new house," said Tom, visibly moved.

W       (Top)

• "I've caught Moby Dick!" Tom wailed.
• "I'm single," Tom said wanly.
• "I'd like some Chinese food," said Tom wantonly.
• "Do you know the location?" asked Tom warily.
• "I need to go on a diet," said Tom wastefully.
• "I'm always exhausted by Friday," said Tom weakly.
• "I'm not a real man," Tom whimpered.
• "I hate Chablis," Tom whined. (*2)
• "I'm glad I passed my EKG," Tom said wholeheartedly. (*2)
• "I wish I'd said that, Oscar," said Tom wildly.
• "I've read all Shakespeare's works," said Tom wilfully.
• "Some you lose," said Tom winsomely.
• "They have their reasons" said Tom wisely.
• "I'd like to learn a new card game," Tom said wistfully. (*2)
• "How do you get this horse to stop?," asked Tom woefully. (*2)
• "Do salmon wear sweaters?" asked Tom wolfishly.
• "This is what I have learned off by heart" Tom wrote.
• "I'm Irish," said Tom wryly.

Z       (Top)

• "I'd like to be a shopkeeper in Somerset," said Tom zealously.
• "I can't eat any more lemon peel," said Tom zestfully.
• "Your fly is undone," was Tom's zippy rejoinder.
• "It looks like elephant dung," said Tom in Zulu.